being alone - 10/28/25

[kalvingj]

being alone

by Kalvin Johnson

October 28, 2025

10/28/25 - 2:29am Zushi, Japan

Being alone is a very weird thing for me. I'm not like completely lonely, I have a little friend group that I hang out with sometimes, but just being by myself, what I prefer. If I had the choice I would always choose to be alone.

I have no clue why I'm this way, I don't think it's a bad thing to be honest, alone or not, I love who I am. But there have been times where I was just completely alone. The first time I remember being completely alone was probably my first two years of high school. I had very little friends during this period, I really only had one true friend who I hung out with during the day.

But sometimes the silence is so loud in my head I feel like I have to talk, that's one of the problems of being alone. The silence of being alone makes me anxious, I feel like I have to talk, but in reality I don't. This really only occurs when I'm in the presence of other people, but when I'm completely deserted away from everyone, I can be alone.

I'm not sure what I'm saying at this point, I just wanted to express what I'm feeling right now. I'll probably get back on later. Goodbye friends.

kj

Comments

[shootuptill5am]

its a weird limbo not necessarily being lonely but being kinda alone. but i think being alone also gives a sense of independence/freedom and opportunities you wouldn't necessarily have if you were always surrounded by people. i learned that semi-recently

the silence thing is sooo real, i feel like theres always word-vomit ready to spill hhh i get antsy

tldr i like how you put all this, im around the globe but feeling the same. hope you're doing well

[kalvingj]

Thank you. I'm perfectly fine, I wanted to express how I feel being alone. It's a very complex thing to me. I hope you're doing well too!

[shootuptill5am]

hahaha great. complex to me too . :)