my mind is something... - 10/15/25
Oct. 15th, 2025 02:52 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kalvingjmy mind is something...
by Kalvin Johnson
October 15, 2025
10/15/25 - 2:52am Zushi, Japan
I'm honestly not sure what I'm even talking about right now, but just exploring some people blogs from around ten to even twenty years ago, I'm getting a very weird feeling in my chest.
If I had to describe my mood I wouldn't say depressed, but it's a tier below. I reflect on what used to be. Nothing in particular, but what just used to be in any context. For the blog posts I saw which were ten to twenty years ago, they all used to mean something. They probably still mean something to the people they were for, but to me it means nothing. I say this because it's forgotten, no one will remember them, no one thinks about them anymore. It may seem harsh coming from my end, but that's far from how I want it to sound, but it's the only way I can put it.
One of the posts were along the lines of
"I haven't posted in a year, I'm no longer active and the friends I used to talk to, don't talk anymore. I don't really know what happened."
That's gotta be some of the most depressing shit I've read today. It's not fake like some bullshit YouTube comment. This person once used to have something, but now it's just so distant from them, they no longer know what that used to feel like.
Like I was said before this made me feel a certain way. I wouldn't say I feel depressed, but a sense of sorrow for once was. This applies to every single aspect of my life since there's a lot of things that once was for me. It's very sad that things like this happen to all of us. Fuck sake I might not even remember I even wrote this 20 years from now.
but the way my mind is sometimes... it's just crazy that I keep feeling what these people probably felt.
I'd probably keep in mind that nothing ever lasts. Not me, not you, not anything.
kj
by Kalvin Johnson
October 15, 2025
10/15/25 - 2:52am Zushi, Japan
I'm honestly not sure what I'm even talking about right now, but just exploring some people blogs from around ten to even twenty years ago, I'm getting a very weird feeling in my chest.
If I had to describe my mood I wouldn't say depressed, but it's a tier below. I reflect on what used to be. Nothing in particular, but what just used to be in any context. For the blog posts I saw which were ten to twenty years ago, they all used to mean something. They probably still mean something to the people they were for, but to me it means nothing. I say this because it's forgotten, no one will remember them, no one thinks about them anymore. It may seem harsh coming from my end, but that's far from how I want it to sound, but it's the only way I can put it.
One of the posts were along the lines of
"I haven't posted in a year, I'm no longer active and the friends I used to talk to, don't talk anymore. I don't really know what happened."
That's gotta be some of the most depressing shit I've read today. It's not fake like some bullshit YouTube comment. This person once used to have something, but now it's just so distant from them, they no longer know what that used to feel like.
Like I was said before this made me feel a certain way. I wouldn't say I feel depressed, but a sense of sorrow for once was. This applies to every single aspect of my life since there's a lot of things that once was for me. It's very sad that things like this happen to all of us. Fuck sake I might not even remember I even wrote this 20 years from now.
but the way my mind is sometimes... it's just crazy that I keep feeling what these people probably felt.
I'd probably keep in mind that nothing ever lasts. Not me, not you, not anything.
kj
